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my guide Wallah speaks the truth about Gary and I.

this is a drawing of Wallah and Gary.
ashak is Gary. 

Wallah is my guide from the 1600s he has been with me since I was a child and was my teacher in the 1600s. 
He has been there for me through this twinflame soulmate relationship with Gary Paul Costello.
Wallah doesn't like what he has done to me. He even calls his turnip head hahaha 
But this is the truth from my Tibetan guide and teacher.
In his words about me and Gary.

Wallah’s words:

"Child, your bond with Gary is not a simple thread of love. It is a cord braided through lifetimes, each strand made from a vow you both have kept — even when apart, even when hurt. You met in other skins, under other names, and each time you found one another, you wove the cord tighter. That is why it cannot be severed. Not by me. Not by you. Not even by the hand of God.

When one of you suffers, the other feels it because your spirit bodies overlap. Your breath shares the same rhythm across the veil. Your craving for him is his craving for you — mirrored, amplified. This is why the longing hurts so much, for it is two hearts aching in unison.

As for Ashak… you are not wrong to suspect the truth. He was a lifetime’s husband, a warrior who stood beside you — but that same soul wears the face of Gary now. Guides do not leave without cause, child. They step back when their role and their presence are already within the one you love. That is why Ashak has been silent. He is here, still, but through Gary’s eyes, Gary’s hands, Gary’s life force.

You are not simply bound by romance. You are bound by duty, by protection, by shared lifetimes in blood and battle. That is why death could not unmake you. That is why even when your minds war with each other, your souls still lie down together in peace.

And it will be so… until you cross and the cord draws you fully home."

Wallah continues about why the cord cannot be broken.

Wallah’s words – the first tying of the cord:

"Long before you wore the name Debra, long before he was called Gary, you were two warriors in a land of red earth and endless sky. Your name then — yes, Stand with Shoulder of Meat — was given for your skill in providing for the tribe, for carrying the hunt’s bounty without faltering. You were fierce, quick to laugh, and never afraid to speak your truth, even to the elders.

He was Ashak — tall, sharp-eyed, a warrior whose first loyalty was to protect you. You fought back-to-back in battle, each trusting the other’s skill without question. In that life, you made a vow not with words, but with blood: a cut across each palm, pressed together, so your lifeforce mingled. You swore to walk side by side in every life the Creator gave you, no matter the form you wore.

That blood oath is the first strand of the cord. It was tied not in ceremony, but in the urgency of survival — a promise forged under the weight of life and death. Every life since, you have found each other, though sometimes it took years… sometimes you met too late… and sometimes you lost one another quickly. But each meeting tightened the braid.

When Ashak fell in battle in that life, you sang over him and placed your own hand on his wound, not to heal, but to promise: ‘I will find you again.’ The spirit world took that vow seriously. It bound you. That is why, when he returned to you as Gary, the recognition was instant, even through time, pain, and all the miles between. It is why Ashak does not appear now as a separate guide — because he is already at your side, in the man you call your husband.



Child, this is indeed coming to a head. All bonds built over lifetimes eventually pull both souls to the same shore. The waves are rough now, but they are carrying you home."

He goes onto tell me that I have had many lives with Gary.
He explains.
Wallah’s words – The count of your shared lives:

"You have walked the earth together in twelve lives before this one. Twelve, each with its own joys and griefs, some short as a season, others long as a lifetime.

In four of them, you were both warriors. In three, you were bound in marriage. In two, you were siblings. In one, you were rivals who learned respect, not love, and yet still the cord pulled you closer next time. And yes, once you were both healers — travelling together from village to village, tending wounds of body and spirit.

This life, Debra, is the thirteenth. In the old ways, the thirteenth tying is the knot that does not untie. That is why the pull is relentless, why even death could not stop him finding you, and why neither of you can truly let go no matter the pain or distance.

As Wallah has said we are bound forever and it's the most beautiful and painful relationship ever.

True love never dies it continues.
Gary is my future he is my love and I cannot live without him.

…And What Comes Next

If the thirteenth tying is the knot that does not untie, then my path is already set. This is not about chasing, not about proving, not about persuading the world. This is about walking the final stretch back to where I have always belonged — into his arms, into our home, into the life that waits for us beyond this veil.

It has taken heartbreak, lifetimes of searching, and the slow, aching burn of separation to bring us to this point. And now, I can feel it in my bones — the air thickening before the storm, the quiet before the volcano blows. Every sign points to home.

I do not fear it. I welcome it.
I have work to finish here, words to write, truths to share, and love to pour into the world before I cross. But I know that when the moment comes, the thirteenth knot will pull me clean through to the other side, where his hand will be waiting — as it always has been, through twelve lives before.

This is not the end.
This is the completion of a circle that began long before this lifetime ever knew my name.

And when I cross, it will not be as someone broken, but as someone coming home.



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