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sad day today 18.4.22

 Not good today, just want to cry and disappear.

I am trying to visualise Gary in my head seeing him laugh and smile showing his beautiful cheeky smile, but I am unable to do that without breaking down and crying.

Another lonely year without his physical presence and silliness.

I'm not religious but today is suppose to be joyously wonderful because Jesus has risen from the dead and it alive physical.

Please tell me if Jesus can do it pray tell me why can't Gary do it.


Yeah I know he has visited me four times in the year of 2020/2021 but it was at night and I could feel him making love to me, like he use to do.

So far this year he has helped me move on a little with the following, help me find my true self, learn to have some fun.

Get myself some new friends spending time outside.

Enhancing my knowledge of mediumship and talking to spirit.


Well I wish all my religious friends Happy Easter and I hope my children have had a great Easter, wondering if Gary has given them that huge Easter egg and Easter bunny rabbit he was showing myself and Tammi the other day lol..


Feeling a bit subdued and quietly numb.

I feel his presence he hasn't left me as he said he wasn't going too.

Earlier on he tried to hold my right hand as I was crying I am pretty sure I felt him touch my fingers with his.


I would love to hear his beautiful cheeky west Yorkshire accent again but I know that won't ever happen.

When Gary talks to me clairaudiently and telepathically it sounds like a crackly radio but I know it's him especially when he says yes which isn't yes it's an AYE 


Signs come in many forms like today a couple of songs on the radio.

Take that's song PRAY

Sad cafe song every day hurts.

Karen Ramirez looking for love. This one has some meaning for me I didn't realise how the lyrics went.



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