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somber day with a touch of jealousy 28.4.22

Today has been a sad sort of somber day, let me explain how I feel ok.
This morning I got woken by someone giving me.a song I could hear it as if it was being played in the bedroom but it was iny head.
Eventually found out what it was.
You to me are everything by the real thing.
Firstly I knew the song but had never paid attention to the lyrics until now when I read them they made me realise how precious I am to Gary and he wanted to me to know how he felt.
Lyrics are as follows.

You to me are everything by the real thing.

I would take the stars out of the sky for you
Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to
I'd do anything for you, your wish is my command
I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand
Words cannot express how much you mean to me
There must be some other way to make you see
If it takes my heart and soul, you know I'd pay the price
Everything that I possess I'd gladly sacrifice
Oh, you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh, baby, oh, baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down
Oh, baby, oh, baby
Give me just a taste of love
To build my hopes upon
You know you've got the power girl
To keep me holding on
So now you've got the best of me
Come on and take the rest of me
Oh, baby
Though you're close to me, we seem so far apart
Maybe given time you'll have a change of heart
If it takes forever, girl then I'm prepared to wait
The day you give your love to me, won't be a day too late
Oh, you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh, baby, oh, baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down
Oh, baby, oh, baby
You give me just a taste of love
To build my hopes upon
You know you've got the power girl
To keep me holding on
So now you've got the best of me
Come on and take the rest of me
Oh, baby
Oh, you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh, baby, (oh, baby)
Oh, baby
You to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh, baby, oh, baby
You're are everything to me (oh, baby)
Can you see?
You to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh, baby, oh, baby
Oh baby
You to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh, baby, (oh, baby)
Oh, baby (you are everything to me)
You to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh, baby, oh, baby

Right that started off really happy and felt loved.
But I feel a little jealous i know I shouldn't but l cannot help it.
Tammi has every single Clair gift from knowing to seeing.
She can see Gary and that shop is a gateway for spirit to come and go freely, no negativity enters in or out 
Gary tends to do a lot in that shop including opening doors, turn the TV on and off. Make the security screen go blue lol...
Bring food visions and smells including his feet lol.
I suppose he cannot do that at home due to being married to Norman (second husbands nickname).
I know he has set the burglar alarm system off.
Play with my bread machine.
But what upset me today was Gary decided to send text message to Tammis phone because she was concerned about her husband.
He won't send me text message but he has left me voice messages on my mobile phone but it upset me because I couldn't save them.
After having haircut today and then going home after showing Tammi my haircut.
I got home cooked dinner a chicken Italian sausage pasta dish.
Ate dinner decided to cry and get upset, I suppose I ask too much.
I started picking at my wound that won't heal because I self harm.
I could hear Gary speaking normally as I had my eyes shut asking him why did you do that.
I know he said please don't get jealous about what things have happened.
I know he loves me, I just wish I could see him. I don't have full opened mind eye sometimes it certain parts of his body he shows me which is mmmm nice but I want to see his face that is what hurts.
While talking to me he starts singing me a song clairaudiently.
The song was.
Your my sunshine my only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You don't know how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
He then decided to waft his cheesy feet around to make me laugh.
He knows I want to see him desperately and says he will do his best to physically walk through the front door of the shop in his Captains uniform and come and hug me. He said before my exit date.
What more can I say except bring it on.
Just needed to express how I felt today.

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