Episode 14: Army Story – The Goat Incident (Northern Italy, 1996)
Location: Small mountain village outside Turin.
Assignment: Flood relief and ration support.
We were camped near a makeshift depot beside a farm.
One afternoon, I went for a wash—came out in just a towel.
Goat nicked my trousers off the fence.
I legged it through the village barefoot, towel flappin’, bollocks nearly out,
chasin’ this bloody goat through alleys and past a group of old women who just nodded like it was normal.
Caught the goat near the fountain.
It’d eaten half a pack of biscuits and pissed on my trousers.
Went back to camp wearin’ someone’s poncho and one sock
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