Episode 7 – The Soup Incident (Army Antics Gone Wrong)
Bosnia. 1993.
Weather: pissin’ it down sideways.
Mood: carnage.
I’d been put on dinner duty with Simon and Travis, and we were making stew—only Travis the twit dumped in an entire tin of condensed milk thinking it was chicken stock.
So what we ended up with was chicken & vanilla soup.
Did we tell anyone?
Did we hell.
We dished it out to about 70 soldiers.
Within 20 minutes, the mess tent sounded like a brass band of farting elephants.
One poor sod sneezed and blew soup out his nose and arse at the same time.
I laughed so hard I fell backwards into a stack of pans and knocked myself out cold.
Woke up to find a note from Simon pinned to my chest:
“You died for dairy, you twat.”
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