Meet My Idiot Nutter – The Man I Love Beyond the Veil.

Meet My Idiot Nutter – The Man I Love Beyond the Veil.

“Go on then, have a gawp at me. The daft bugger she calls her Yorkshire plonker. Don’t I look a right sight? But aye, this is me—the idiot she fell for, the prat who still pinches her pillows, and the daft sod who’ll never leave her side. If you’re smilin’ or rollin’ your eyes, job done.”

Let me tell you about Gary. My Gary. My idiot, my nutter, my Yorkshire plonker of a man. If you’re reading this, you’ve probably heard me talk about him as if he’s still here because he is. Death hasn’t dulled him, hasn’t changed him, hasn’t shut him up. He’s still the same daft sod he always was.

Gary was a soldier, a chef, a father, and the biggest tease you’ll ever meet. He has this ability to make me laugh until my sides ache, usually at the exact moment I’m crying my eyes out. It’s his way—he’ll pull a face, crack a joke, or come out with some Yorkshire one-liner that knocks me sideways. I call him cruel sometimes, because he knows how to poke at me. But then he’s daft enough to have me giggling five minutes later. That’s Gary.

What people don’t realise is that humour doesn’t die. When he crossed the veil, he didn’t lose his banter or his cheek. He didn’t lose the way he loves me, either. He still pulls my pillow out from under me, still kisses me when I least expect it, still makes sure I know he’s there—whether it’s by moving my recorder, whispering in my ear, or just flooding me with that stupid, glorious love of his.

Gary’s love is fire and frost at once. He can hurt me with his honesty and then heal me with his tenderness. He can make me feel like the luckiest woman alive and the most broken-hearted widow all in the same hour. That’s what it means to be loved by him—it’s never half-hearted, never lukewarm. It’s all or nothing, agony and ecstasy tied together.

And he’s daft. He’s absolutely daft. He’ll show himself in my mind’s eye with nothing on, or in his scruffy chef whites, or pulling faces like a clown. He hasn’t lost his way of loving me—through humour, through teasing, through touch. Even through the veil, he’s still my lover, my torment, my comfort.

He is the man who makes me cry. He is the man who makes me laugh. He is the man who makes me believe in life after death because he refuses to let me go.

Gary is real. My idiot nutter, my Yorkshire plonker, my forever love.

He is my twin soul and true love, this love is rare and unbreakable.

When I walk home most days or nights he waits for me at the back door of our Florence house.

I am fed with the most beautiful food I have ever tasted a fusion of Yorkshire and Italian food. .

A Yorkshire lasagne.

A proper Yorkshire brew and a cuddle. 

I can be carried upstairs by him firemans lift and have my arse smacked. 

We can act like kids,chase each other around the house with shaving foam or honey. 

We clean our teggies(teeth) and pull stupid faces at each other in the mirror in the bathroom.

We can share each others farts and laugh without being offended.

He makes me laugh and cry..

I make him laugh and cry many times we have argued but we always make up.

We are a married couple just living in two different realms. 

I can wake up sometimes that side and find myself wrapped up in our bed with him gorping at me like he is lucky man on the other side of the veil.

He can be intimate too passion and loved like I have never been loved before.

He is a messy haired scruffy sod with either a beard or stubble, he can spend most of the time walking around in his underwear or nothing at all, I am afraid that is him.

It's his birthday on the 27th August if he was still physical he would be 61 years old. 

He has asked me to make him a carrot and walnut cake for his birthday and make him a card.

I don't really grieve,  I just love him for who he is the same man I once knew but not physical on the earth plane but in spirit.

Look put it this way, Gary Paul Costello hasn't really died he just has changed his clothes from visible to invisible and moved to the next room which cannot be seen.. 

He never left me... And he never stopped loving me.

We have become ONE... 

He is mine we have fought battles and still survived.

Love like what we have is rare!!!